Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Finish Line is in sight

I am almost done with the Youth Works summer. It has been a journey to say the least. I feel like i have been under a gigantic flashlight all summer. Everywhere i go i am under inspection. Maybe thats why i got sent to Daytona Beach, because God knew i needed a lot of light in my life. He has showed me many things and i know that this was a very important step in my healing. God is so good to me. I had a leader who displayed Christ to me in every area for the first time in my life this summer. she called me out in one summer more than any leader i have ever had. it was hard and good at the same time.
i am going back to Wilmore a little wounded, but the wounds were not inflected by the summer, they were just wounds that i had long ago band-aided up and the band-aids were just ripped off. this will allow me to actually be honest and open and to allow them to heal. i realized that i strive and maintain control in every area of my life. i have still not settled in my heart whether i can trust God and if He really loves me. i always try to prove myself instead of allowing the Spirit to be my offense and my defense.
I desire to live by the Spirit and if i do this, i will not walk according to the flesh! thank you Jesus for your healing. this time around i am not going to hide the wounds, i am going to allow the SON to heal them and then the scars will be my testimony of His grace.
thanks be to God who casues us to stand,
this is reality You are coming to reign on the earth, and the increase of Your government will know no end!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Destructive patterns

I have so much to process and write about, but this is what clouds my thoughts. It will destroy me.

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I am seminarian who is learning about God, myself and others.

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