Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Come and take Your place in the center of my heart.

I have had a rough past week. Missed expectations are some of the most difficult things to deal with. Why is it that we set our sights on something so quick and so fierce? It is my personality that when i find something i want, i will go after it until i acquire it. There are not that many things that come into my life like this, for i have curbed my appetite to accommodate my personality. The hardest things i have found in my life are when the things i desire are just not able to be fully realized. No matter how hard i try or what i do, there is no way i can make this happen. I set my expectation so high, only to have it ultimately crushed. it does not happen that often, but when it does it sends me into a tailspin. The gnawing in my stomach only leaves me for moments at a time. The time i remember the most vivid was when i realized I had to leave my church i served at 4 years and had attended for 18. I wanted it to work and i wanted to stay so ad, yet i knew the Lord was calling me on. There was nothing could do to make it better or make it work, for the Lord had clearly spoken. Well, i find myself in that place of missed expectation again. It doesn't get better with experience... Then I hear that still small voice saying that only He can fill the whole in my heart. It doesn't make it easier or even take the pain away, but reminds me that He is still there. The process sucks, but He has had me the whole time and He will see me through it. Missed expectations can be life's biggest signs pointing to God's ultimate provision; i just need to follow the sign.


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I am seminarian who is learning about God, myself and others.

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